If "lesbian vampire" isn't enough to hook you, please scroll to the end for a list of 5 other reasons.
Hello:
What happens when a normal young woman who's just found the perfect man and her first taste of happiness wakes to find that she's been turned into a lesbian vampire?
That idea is what inspired me to write DRACULETTE, an original horror comedy screenplay. Think SCREAM meets THE HUNGER. It's essentially a somewhat humorous take on those old Hammer lesbian vampire films; I take the audience's expectations about what a female vampire should be and turn them on their head.
Logline: Lucy Collins has just found the man of her dreams, but a broken-hearted female vampire named Lillian decides that Lucy will be her new vampire girlfriend, whether she agrees or not.
Genre: Horror Comedy
Synopsis: Life is not treating Lucy Collins kindly. She has few friends, a pill habit, no luck with men, a fashion sense more suited to a bad 80's teen movie, and her dream of becoming a filmmaker just isn't happening. Then she meets Paul Murray at film school, and her life turns around. She finds happiness. Briefly. Lucy has a fight with Paul, and talks jokingly about "giving up men" to a stranger she meets at the park. Unfortunately for Lucy, that stranger is a female vampire named Lillian who's just had her heart broken. Before Lucy can react, Lillian's fangs are buried in her neck. She passes out as a human, and wakes as a vampire.
Lillian has decided that Lucy will be her new vampire girlfriend. Lucy wants nothing to do with Lillian, but when she starts killing her friends, with her blood-lust spinning out of control, she has no choice but to turn to Lillian for help. "But I'm not a lesbian," Lucy says. "You're a female vampire. OF COURSE you're a lesbian. Haven't you ever seen a vampire movie?" Lillian replies.
Lillian's ex, Summer, begins dating an actress named Zooey, famous only for showing her fake breasts in terrible B-movies like JANE STORM, NINJA POLICE. Zooey turns out to be a very bad vampire. When she murders a famous director (Tarantino?) during a carnage-filled rampage at a lavish Hollywood party, which threatens to expose the existence of vampires to the world, Summer knows she has to destroy Zooey. She also wants her old girlfriend, Lillian, back.
As Zooey murders the guests at the Hollywood party, Lucy seizes the opportunity to get Lillian and Summer together again, by calling Lillian to the scene. Lillian arrives just in time to save Summer, by putting a stake through Zooey's big fake breasts, and the former lovers reunite. Lucy finds a bleeding, dying Paul in the pile of bodies. Lucy saves him by feeding him her blood and turning him into a vampire, and they are able to "live" happily forever after.
Here's what you should know about the screenplay, which I would love to send your way:
1) It's scary.
2) It's funny.
3) It features 4 strong female roles.
4) It's 98 pages long.
5) It's polished, sparkling, and ready to go.
Ervin V. Anderson
boogieknight07@yahoo.com
Friday, November 13, 2009
The Pair Of Tits That Loves You
Clearly an empowering script for women everywhere. Be the pair of tits that love someone, today!
"The pair tits that love you". The story of an introverted man, burned by love, who is pushed by his closest friends to rejoin life and seek sex and intimacy, he struggles within himself to find the courage to attain his true love. Addressing issues of sex and intimacy on the screen like never before. Promiscuousy versus confidant sexuality, fear of loneliness versus the quest for true love. Friendships, relationships, monogamy and lots of sex. The story portraits the range that intimacy is, across styles, sexes and ages.
The writer of this screenplay is a graduate student of Marital and Family Therapy Counseling. This script is a synthesis of his unique sense of humor with exploration of intimacy challenges couples and individuals are facing every day.
Almog Shanun
shiralmog@gmail.com
"The pair tits that love you". The story of an introverted man, burned by love, who is pushed by his closest friends to rejoin life and seek sex and intimacy, he struggles within himself to find the courage to attain his true love. Addressing issues of sex and intimacy on the screen like never before. Promiscuousy versus confidant sexuality, fear of loneliness versus the quest for true love. Friendships, relationships, monogamy and lots of sex. The story portraits the range that intimacy is, across styles, sexes and ages.
The writer of this screenplay is a graduate student of Marital and Family Therapy Counseling. This script is a synthesis of his unique sense of humor with exploration of intimacy challenges couples and individuals are facing every day.
Almog Shanun
shiralmog@gmail.com
"Will Unmanned" - What would a man do without his balls?
I do hope that the writer intends for "what would a man do without his balls" to be a subtitle- as it would look lovely on screen. This is a comedy men will love: any logline that involves the word "castrate" is generally evidence of a hilarious story!
An over-sexed playboy decides to castrate himself to live an easier life."
Genre: Comedy
Will Govern is a player. He has sex with any willing woman, even when it's a bad idea. His female co-workers are disgusted with him, he has to keep moving from one apartment to another before he gets murdered by a husband of the wives he sleeps with, he has no money or time for anything except his genitals.
Burdened by his sex drive he sees a professional about having his testicles removed. The doctor suggests that Will should try temporary chemical castration before going all the way, and he reluctantly agrees for a trial period before having the operation.
Soon he is faced with a new set of problems - rejection from his male friends, the inability to satisfy women, and his own psychological need for comfort, all driving him to either going back to womanizing, or finding a way to exist without his manhood.
I have written five screenplays and received praise from professional readers on my work.
I'd like to submit this screenplay for your consideration. Contact info below.
Thank you for your time.
Antti Partanen
Email: prod.partanen@gmail.com
An over-sexed playboy decides to castrate himself to live an easier life."
Genre: Comedy
Will Govern is a player. He has sex with any willing woman, even when it's a bad idea. His female co-workers are disgusted with him, he has to keep moving from one apartment to another before he gets murdered by a husband of the wives he sleeps with, he has no money or time for anything except his genitals.
Burdened by his sex drive he sees a professional about having his testicles removed. The doctor suggests that Will should try temporary chemical castration before going all the way, and he reluctantly agrees for a trial period before having the operation.
Soon he is faced with a new set of problems - rejection from his male friends, the inability to satisfy women, and his own psychological need for comfort, all driving him to either going back to womanizing, or finding a way to exist without his manhood.
I have written five screenplays and received praise from professional readers on my work.
I'd like to submit this screenplay for your consideration. Contact info below.
Thank you for your time.
Antti Partanen
Email: prod.partanen@gmail.com
JESSE
I am having a hard time getting through the logline- but I see the word "voodooish" used in the summary, so I know it's worth it.
"A shy teenager is tormented by nightmares of her parent's fiery death as her psychopathic brother, who is possessed by a woman their father entombed alive, stalks her for the entities reincarnation."
Title: JESSE
Genre: Thriller/Horror
Part of a revengeful soul of a woman entombed alive takes refuge in the son of one of her murderers, causing him to torch his parents. Years later, he escapes and finishes the entities revenge, then stalks his emotionally tormented sister who's consumed by nightmares of her parent's death. After a bloody rampage he carries his sister off to a voodooish crypt where a voodoo priestess, the grandmother of the murdered woman, reunites her granddaughters split spirit and rejuvenates her mummified remains, but only to their demise. The once possessed is possessed again, and the sister must deal with it before the entities full powers rejuvenate in her brother's body.
William Sikorski Jr. & William Sikorski III
Email: wsikor@sbcglobal.net
"A shy teenager is tormented by nightmares of her parent's fiery death as her psychopathic brother, who is possessed by a woman their father entombed alive, stalks her for the entities reincarnation."
Title: JESSE
Genre: Thriller/Horror
Part of a revengeful soul of a woman entombed alive takes refuge in the son of one of her murderers, causing him to torch his parents. Years later, he escapes and finishes the entities revenge, then stalks his emotionally tormented sister who's consumed by nightmares of her parent's death. After a bloody rampage he carries his sister off to a voodooish crypt where a voodoo priestess, the grandmother of the murdered woman, reunites her granddaughters split spirit and rejuvenates her mummified remains, but only to their demise. The once possessed is possessed again, and the sister must deal with it before the entities full powers rejuvenate in her brother's body.
William Sikorski Jr. & William Sikorski III
Email: wsikor@sbcglobal.net
Naked Brothers
Even my boss (who gets the same query email I get) liked this one. Who can resist "penetrating visuals"?
Query - "Naked Brothers"
'This story has a wonderful concept, adorable characters, "penetrating" visuals, a strong theme and a sweet message at the end.' so said an American Script Consultant after helping me polish my comedy/drama, 'NAKED BROTHERS'.
A young Adman with money problems, pretends to find two naked, mute brothers abandoned in a forest and believing he knows what women appreciate, promotes them for his own financial gain. (Robert Pattinson as one of the brothers!)
I'm a BBC trained film maker. I've written close to 140 produced TV scripts and 15 screenplays.
I'd be delighted to send you a copy of NAKED BROTHERS for your consideration.
Kind regards,
Ceidrik Heward
ceidrik@gmail.com
Query - "Naked Brothers"
'This story has a wonderful concept, adorable characters, "penetrating" visuals, a strong theme and a sweet message at the end.' so said an American Script Consultant after helping me polish my comedy/drama, 'NAKED BROTHERS'.
A young Adman with money problems, pretends to find two naked, mute brothers abandoned in a forest and believing he knows what women appreciate, promotes them for his own financial gain. (Robert Pattinson as one of the brothers!)
I'm a BBC trained film maker. I've written close to 140 produced TV scripts and 15 screenplays.
I'd be delighted to send you a copy of NAKED BROTHERS for your consideration.
Kind regards,
Ceidrik Heward
ceidrik@gmail.com
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Ghost In A Bong
Who says being stalked by a serial killer who gets pleasure out of murdering everyone you care about to the point that suicide seems like the only solution, is not the ideal American dream? Jeffrey Ching, that's who.
"Two young lovers' wonderful lives of romance, love and reaching spiritual enlightenment via their bong are put in serious danger when the spirit of a stoner loathing serial killer gets reincarnated in the form of a drug ghost that murders stoners in the form of trippy drug hallucinations whenever they get high."
Think Harold and Kumar Go To Whitecastle meets A Nightmare on Elm Street.
Meet Mary Eipstock: a sweet lovable young girl who enjoys the simple pleasures of life such as watching movies, hanging out with friends, and tripping out on magic mushrooms. Saying that Mary has had a rough life is the biggest understatement in the history of understatements. Being stalked by a serial killer who gets pleasure out of murdering everyone you care about to the point that suicide seems like the only solution, is not the ideal American dream. However, Mary one day meets another pothead named Seth, and together they outsmart and eliminate the serial killer. They fall in love, and life is great for the both of them, but not for long.
Seth, Mary and their circle of friends' ideal bong smoking, brownie eating lives are put in great danger when the serial killer gets reincarnated in the form of a revenge hungry drug ghost; a ghost that murders stoners in the form of trippy drug hallucinations. With the help of a paranormal expert, Seth and Mary attempt to survive and eliminate the evil once and for all. As the body count gets higher and the situation gets more dangerous, can Seth and Mary's love for each other overcome this huge obstacle?
By: Jeffrey Ching jeffching@gmail.com
"Two young lovers' wonderful lives of romance, love and reaching spiritual enlightenment via their bong are put in serious danger when the spirit of a stoner loathing serial killer gets reincarnated in the form of a drug ghost that murders stoners in the form of trippy drug hallucinations whenever they get high."
Think Harold and Kumar Go To Whitecastle meets A Nightmare on Elm Street.
Meet Mary Eipstock: a sweet lovable young girl who enjoys the simple pleasures of life such as watching movies, hanging out with friends, and tripping out on magic mushrooms. Saying that Mary has had a rough life is the biggest understatement in the history of understatements. Being stalked by a serial killer who gets pleasure out of murdering everyone you care about to the point that suicide seems like the only solution, is not the ideal American dream. However, Mary one day meets another pothead named Seth, and together they outsmart and eliminate the serial killer. They fall in love, and life is great for the both of them, but not for long.
Seth, Mary and their circle of friends' ideal bong smoking, brownie eating lives are put in great danger when the serial killer gets reincarnated in the form of a revenge hungry drug ghost; a ghost that murders stoners in the form of trippy drug hallucinations. With the help of a paranormal expert, Seth and Mary attempt to survive and eliminate the evil once and for all. As the body count gets higher and the situation gets more dangerous, can Seth and Mary's love for each other overcome this huge obstacle?
By: Jeffrey Ching jeffching@gmail.com
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