Spooooooky!!!

Ghost Pets by Arne Olsen

A guy who dislikes animals moves into a house built over a former zoo and finds himself being haunted by the ghosts of a penguin, parrot, orangutan and wolf.

Only Chocolate Will Do

Woah, David. I uh- well... woah.

Genre: Hilarious Romantic Comedy

Can a multicultural chubby chaser, who can't get past a first date, escape the clutches of his faultfinding mother and win his battle with OCD to find true love?

Being a chubby chaser and dealing with OCD on a personal, as well as group level, I have provided a clever and hilarious backdrop for this story.

To obtain your copy of this Hot New Script, call or email directly.

Thank you.

David Ruble
davidrublewriter@gmail.com

Is that your wife in that celebrity sex tape?

Well, thank you Kevin, this description surely isn't too long.

My screenplay is a comedy titled "Is that your wife in that celebrity sex tape?"

Logline: An insecure husband discovers a celebrity sex tape starring his wife and a rock star.

I would appreciate the opportunity to send you the complete screenplay. Please notify me at your earliest convenience.

Sincerely,

Kevin Via
K70via@aol.com

Script Quarry Special: fairy tales

How lucky are we?!?! To unearth TWO fairy tales in the Script Quarry. As usual, you will finish reading these and curse "Oh hell! It's too late! Someone's already thought of it!"

Bye Cuspid! The Adventures of a Male Tooth Fairy

Motu Mikey here at the Internet café in Vava'u, Tonga where I recover from my first - and decidedly last - visit to a dentist in this island Kingdom. Ruing the absence of Novocain, I am determined to regain my sense of humor and, therefore, have concluded that this is a dandy time to introduce you to my family/comedy/fantasy screenplay, "Bye Cuspid! The Adventures of a Male Tooth Fairy".

An only child, Cuspid grew up in the Tooth Castle, quite content with his job as a janitor; brushing and polishing the millions of tiny teeth that cover the walls. Then one day his mother, the Tooth Fairy, decides it's time for her to retire. Tradition dictates that she pass on her magic wand only to family, so the beautiful Tippy - who happens to be smitten with Cuspid - is enlisted to join a plot to transform the naïve Cuspid into a family man. Cuspid reluctantly dons his tights and tutu, but complications soon arise that jeopardize an orphaned brother and sister... and everyone in the Tooth Castle. Cuspid must convince Tippy to join him in the outside world and, with help from the Boogie Man and the Sand Man they launch "Operation Orphans" to save the children and secure the purpose and future of the residents of the Tooth Castle.

Please let me know if I may email a .pdf of the 104-page script.

Kind regards,

Michael William Hogan
mwh@mwhogan.com

---------------------

The Hatchet Fairy

A Fairy Tale Willing to Bleed its Way to the Ball



Bitty had always been a strange sister, so when Lore met Bitty's fairy godmother for the upcoming ball, she didn't think much of it. Sure, the fairy godmother was mean and drank scotch, but then again, Bitty was a personal injury lawyer, so allowances had to be made about her mental stability.

After refusing to go the ball and disgust the prince with her appearance, Lore wakes to find her roommate dead and Bitty still thirsty for blood. With the first strike of midnight, Bitty's gone and Lore's bleeding. Kill or be killed, the ghosts finally convince her. Armed with only her shoes, Lore has to survive the ball, ignore the prince, and kill her sister to stay alive.

Nicer than the ghosts in The Sixth Sense, more honest than Cinderella, and bloody as Scream's little sister, The Hatchet Fairy is a fairy tale willing to bleed its way to the ball.

I would love the chance to send you a copy of The Hatchet Fairy.

Thank you very much for your time and consideration.


Sincerely,

Abieth Winter
abby.pegas@me.com

Long in the Tooth

Amazing. You'd think someone would think twice before taking something called "Dracizole." This may deserve a table read.

"A group of nursing home residents take an experimental drug and turn into vampires."

Genre: Horror/Comedy

Seven aged residents of a dilapidated assisted living home regain their lust for living, along with an insatiable appetite for sex, blood and vengeance once they are given the experimental drug, Dracizole. A visiting teenage grandson and a young nurse try to escape while the residents grasp with their newfound vitality and violent ways.

I would like to submit this screenplay for your consideration and can be contacted as listed below.

Thank you,

Mark Aznavourian
Email: mazna@comcast.net

Klantastic

With a name like Klantastic, it's got to be good! I am however, having a hard time determining which part is funny?

Genre: "Frat Pack" Style Comedy

LOGLINE:
Hard-partying bureaucrats must fake the return of the Ku Klux Klan to their small Indiana town to save their cushy jobs.

SYNOPSIS:
When undercover footage emerges of their wild escapades, ROBERT MURPHY and the rest of the Federal Anti-Racist Team are forced to resurrect the long-dormant hate group to show their relevancy. After Shoshana Himmelman, the lovely agent sent to shut them down, is kidnapped by real Ku Klux Klan members the team struggles to rescue her and take down the Klan.

Robb T. Henrickson
henrixn@hotmail.com

Whack The Dog

Mafia movie where no one gets hurt and all swear words are bleeped out! Finally!


WHACK THE DOG is a comedy about two arguing Mafia chiefs who agree to settle their differences at the Columbus Day fair.

One chief hires two bumbling imbeciles to whack his wife's toy poodle, which irritates him to no end. The contract also includes his adversary's Great Dane, because his rival continuously teases him about his unmanly little poodle.

This is a Mafia comedy that includes loveable goombas, adorable dogs, slapstick comedy and funny Italian-American culture.

Don't worry. No human or canine gets whacked!

All swear words are bleeped out, so it's fun for the whole family.

"Whose 'family' you talkin' 'bout?"

Then what does happen at the Columbus Day Fair?

contact:
impavido1@verizon.net.

WHISTLING NOSTRIL

This script query boasts quite the genre- you know the sex/secret agent/action spoof one- but will it hold up? Well, I'd say any plot that manages to involve "jock itch" is a winner in my book!

TITLE: WHISTLING NOSTRIL

GENRE: SEX/SECRET AGENT/ACTION SPOOF

LOGLINE: A bumbling British Secret Service Agent battles TURD and SMUT to prevent the world-wide distribution of their sex-destroying, permafrost-inducing condoms.

SYNOPSIS: British Secret Service Agent PLUMM PUDDEN - code name WHISTLING NOSTRIL - battles PAPILLON, the leader of TURD (Terror under Revolutionary Deviates), and his cronies GORGONZOLA and the gorilla AMAZONIA. Plumm also fights DR. STRANGECOCK, the high priest of SMUT (Society of Mentally Unbalanced Tyrants), and his cohorts HIMMELFART and the Three Scrooges - HORNBLOWER, CORKSCREW and SALTPETER in the doctor's remote lab/mansion located in the Florida Everglades. He defeats a great white shark MAWS, a laser-firing Eunuch, a farting Moonie and the doctor's three Scrooges. Finally captured, he's imprisoned in the doctor's DOOM ROOM to be sliced in half by a razor-sharp pendulum. Using a fungus ring that causes extreme jock itch, he escapes along with two gorgeous captive females.

Contact:srayner@msn.com

just went through 29 queries!

And lucky for you, about 9 have been selected, and will make it onto our site. As soon as I get a chance to give each a proper introduction, they will be available for your reading pleasure!

Craigslist = awesome.

So a few months ago I was intrigued by an ad I saw on craigslist in the writing section boasting a Hollywood-worthy life-story in need of a screenwriter. The person promised to email you a synopsis if you responded. Unable to resist the temptation of someone who thought their life story was so exciting that it deserved to be a movie, I wrote to this person. He responded with the following and is therefore clearly schizophrenic.(posted by dylan)

What set me down this path of intrigue and research started seven years ago when I was put under surveillance by the government. As soon as I realized I was being watched by the government, I started researching into the TOP SECRET surveillance system being used. At that point I was subjected to ABOVE TOP SECRET weaponry technologies that are of the highest echelon. My research then turned towards ABOVE TOP SECRET technologies, and I made some remarkable scientific observations and discoveries of ABOVE TOP SECRET technologies that are visible to us all, but few observes or can even begin to understand (i.e. the ABOVE TOP SECRET system that chemtrails support). I recently made an agreement not to speak of the TOP SECRET surveillance technology. But what is ABOVE TOP SECRET; they will not even acknowledge these technologies exist! So I have made no agreement to keep a vow of secrecy concerning the ABOVE TOP SECRET technologies, when they insist they don't even exist! These ABOVE TOP SECRET technologies, many current and past, will make a great movie that is both intellectual and compelling, yet character based and emotionally charged. Something an audience can really connect to! I will show you government documents, scientific literature and visible signs of technologies that are astounding! I CAN OPEN YOUR EYES AND MIND TO TECHNOLOGIES THAT ARE ALMOST BEYOND BELIEF IN THEIR SCOPE AND IMPLICATION! I've done the scientific research for 7 years and have the synopsis that ties it all together. I'm looking for a script writer partner who knows Hollywood, to get the project going. If you are interested in such a project please email me.

"An Emotional Homicide"

This was mistakenly sent to my literary agency, even though we didn't represent screenwriters. There are also two samples from the script itself, that could be added if necessary. They are pretty gold so I might have to.
(posted by dylan)
To Whom it May Concern:

Is it possible that I could send my screenplay to your agency for a reading. If accepted, is possible that it could be solicited to a movie studio or a production house. An Emotional Homicide is a story that is fictional and is a mix of my life experience. In my life experience I have seen women take control. Seeing my mother hustling numbers (book runner), drinking expense liquor and wine, to my mother's female friends and cousins sniffing cocaine, and driving big Cadillac's (to this very day my mother drives a Cadillac). To seeing my female cousins and female friends growing up in the Crack-Cocaine 80's transporting drugs into the United States and falling victim to the drugs they transported, and being incarcerated in federal prison, to catching the AIDS virus. These are some of the dialogues that were put in this script. The film industry is always saying they are in need of something fresh and something that is of the norm. Or would I say, "Pop Culture". And this would be, lesbianism, drug trafficking, a backstabbing plot, and of course, a love triangle. Pop Culture has produced feminist T.V. series like Sex and the City, Showtime's the "L Word", ABC's "Desperate House Wives", Urban film classic "Set If Off', and the mother of all lesbian film thrillers "Basic Instinct". All of these feminist characters in these genres are bad to the bone. Whether they are Black, White, or Latino Americans, the characters character stands out. But what separates my characters (in An Emotional Homicide) from all of other genre's, they are stone cold murders who are transporting heroin out of an African country by using people with AIDS that are in need of medical care. And they have the gall to go to an African country to take out an African dictator by using the dictator's general to kill him to keep the heroin coming into the United States. None of the characters in the other genre's a mentioned has done that. An Emotional Homicide is a good and exciting story that holds together from the beginning to the end. It is the art of story telling and screen writing by bringing a clear picture to the director to direct. There are two scenes from my screenplay attached to get a feel of what to expect if granted permission to send the script to your agency for a reading.